You guys are so fucked in the head, you need proffesional help.  Cruelty to animals is fucking bullshit, and you are all asses for supporting that.  I hate you all, and I wish you were dead.  I will do my best to ruin this site, anyway I can.

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you thinking now?" He replied: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic. "Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

There are these two German guys that decided to go to California for a summer vacation. When they get to the beach, they both are pasty white and wearing out-of-date swim trunks... This causes people to stare and giggle. The German guys walk up to a life guard and ask him advice on how to make the ladies go crazy over them instead of laughing at them and the life guard says "here is what you do, get a fake tan, put on a speedo and drop a potato down your pants". The next day the German guys both got a tan, put on a speedo and drop a potato down their pants, just like the life guard said... They start to walk down the beach and people are laughing harder than they did before.. they go to the life guard confused and asked why are they laughing and the life guard says "when i said 'drop a potato down your pants' i meant in the front!"