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I love sex.
I love the act of sex, watching sex, reading about sex and writing about sex.
I'm going to use these blog entries to talk about my favorite subject, sex!
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I am not an attractive guy. Only 5' 6" and pudgy, I don't even bother when it comes to girls. Even if they could get past my acne, past my dandruff-filled hair, they'd soon realize how horrible I am at making the most basic conversation. But I hardly need to worry about that. Girls never approach me. I never approach them. That's the way it goes.
But every guy's got his cravings and one Saturday night I felt like I just NEEDED to be around a lot of beautiful women, maybe even brush up against one or catch a whiff of one's perfume. I was sick and tired of jerking off to the same old porno sites and looking to be around some real, live girls. Even if they weren't going to pay any attention to me.
So I put on some jeans, turned off the lights and went to the frat party across the street. Normally, the guys would give me crap at the door and wouldn't let me in, but tonight there was so much booze and pot that everyone was inside the house having the time .... read more.
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A Christmas Poem
'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down .... read more.
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