There are these two German guys that decided to go to California for a summer vacation. When they get to the beach, they both are pasty white and wearing out-of-date swim trunks... This causes people to stare and giggle. The German guys walk up to a life guard and ask him advice on how to make the ladies go crazy over them instead of laughing at them and the life guard says "here is what you do, get a fake tan, put on a speedo and drop a potato down your pants". The next day the German guys both got a tan, put on a speedo and drop a potato down their pants, just like the life guard said... They start to walk down the beach and people are laughing harder than they did before.. they go to the life guard confused and asked why are they laughing and the life guard says "when i said 'drop a potato down your pants' i meant in the front!"

A guy and his girlfriend are at a drive through, getting kinky in the back of his car. The guy starts to pet her pussy and then the girl says "stick your finger in!" so he does! then she says "stick two fingers in!" and he says "what are you trying to do? Whistle?

What's the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth? Einstein's cock.

There are 3 guys driving a car in the middle of the desert... all of the sudden they run out of gas. they go in search of help and fortunately come across a house. One of the guys goes up to the door and rings the bell, soon after a hideous woman answers. The man asks her if they could have some food, water and use her phone to call for help. The lady says "you have to fuck me first!"... the man looks at her and walks away... another one of the guys walks up looks at her and runs away, the third guy walks up to her and begs for some food, water and the use of her phone, but she sticks with her word and says "you have to fuck me first! ".. after a bit the man says "ok fine, get on the table, spread your legs and close your eyes" the lady does what he says... the guy takes an ear of corn and puts it into the ladies pussy, moving it in and out... when he is done he takes the corn and throws it out the window. The lady opens her eyes and thanks him but also asks for more... the guy t.... read more.

There is this guy and he is in a casino doing the usual gambling... he ends up gambling all his money away accept for $20. With that $20 he decides to go to a whore house and see if he can get lucky. He goes into a whore house and heads straight up to the lady at the front desk, he hands her the $20 and asks her to give him whatever he can get for that amount of money. The lady smiles and tells him to go down the hall to the last door on the left. He follows her directions and opens the door. Inside the room he finds this beautiful woman laying, naked on the bed, waiting for him. He jumps on top of her and starts pounding away. He starts to go really fast fucking her hard. He then suddenly realizes there is this gooey stuff coming out of her eyes. He freaks out and runs down the hallway to the lady at the front desk and in a panic tells her about the goo coming out of the girl. The lady at the desk rolls her eyes, turns around and screams "Jerry! The dead o.... read more.